


(can't live) without you

by hyuckclit



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Breaking Up & Making Up, But yk, Fluff and Angst, Kissing, M/M, No Smut, Sad with a Happy Ending, This Is Sad, but not that sad, but theyre babies so, dohyuck, dont cry, doyoung is 23, haechan is like 18 or sumn, i cant math, i will go down with dohyuck, kinda making out, light fluff tbh, love my babies, mark lee is mentioned, no, theyre exes too, uwu
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-11
Updated: 2019-10-11
Packaged: 2020-12-09 08:43:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20991986
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hyuckclit/pseuds/hyuckclit
Summary: donghyuck finally has everything in tact. he's got high grades, his whole life planned out; if only he could just find a way to tell his ex he's still in love with him. yup, everything is just perfect.





	(can't live) without you

it was warm outside, quite a contrast with the cold autumn days swarming in. the sun was bright against donghyuck’s tan skin, illuminating his cheeks and nose at the best angles. he loved the fall, it made him feel content. however, lately he hasn’t felt the greatest. 

just a few months ago, during the ripening summer breeze, the one he cared for most in his life decided to turn it all away. he remembers the older boy’s words in it’s broken tone; “i think only one of us is still in love.”

and so donghyuck had stormed out of their shared apartment, bags in hand, and tears streaming down his cheeks. 

doyoung had built him up from the lump of insecurity he once was. he made him feel so special, only to break him down so suddenly. he hated him for breaking his heart. but the thing he hates the most is that deep down he knows he can’t hate him. never. not in a million years. 

now donghyuck is setting out for college, the first months of school storming in. he wanted to focus on school as much as he can because really, a bio major and a singing career besides that is enough to juggle. he needed a balance and frankly, june’s events are taking up half of his thoughts.

he wakes up and thinks about doyoung. he eats and thinks about doyoung. he showers and thinks about doyoung. he watches awful romantic comedies and thinks about doyoung. he sleeps and dreams about doyoung. it’s an endless cycle that needs to stop. 

so donghyuck is going to take initiative. he came up with the idea mid-september. he’ll text doyoung (he was too much of a sap to block him), ask him how he’s doing, and then he’ll tell him that he’s still in love with him. (it sounds better in his head.) he doesn’t expect anything, really, but he can’t move on if he doesn’t tell anyone besides his best friend mark. 

plus, he doesn’t want to spend too much time on it anyway; doyoung is a high school teacher, 23, and has enough on his hands, presumably grading tests and whatnot. 

mark thinks the idea is terrible but mark also refuses to admit he’s in love with his tutor, yukhei. so really, donghyuck can do what he wants.

-

donghyuck was feeling bold. that’s right. bold. he’s always feeling bold but today he’s feeling bolder. he takes out his phone during his lunch break to text doyoung, just for reassurance y’know. 

the younger took a deep breath before pressing the call button, shakily bringing the phone to his ear. he was sitting towards the back of the large field on campus, right by the forest green gate that separated the school grounds from the streets. after about five seconds, doyoung picked up the phone, muttering a small “hello”. he sounded annoyed. then again, it is 2:35 and he’s probably doing something at his own school. 

“before you lash out on me for interrupting your dumb school stuff, i wanted to say something.”

there was a half-assed laugh coming from doyoung’s line. “suddenly i’m this evil guy who would lash out on you for breathing.”

“yeah well you are one to make assumptions.” donghyuck rolled his eyes before speaking again. “don’t speak, i just need a few moments to share something with you.”

“who died?”

“god, doyoung, nobody died. i just- shut up, okay?”

there was no response but a hum. the younger took this as a cue to continue. “it’s been a few months since we’ve broken up, i know. you’ve started teaching a new year and i’ve started college. it’s really tough, now i know what you meant when you said-” he shook his head. “nevermind. anyway, as you know, i’m taking up bio and i’m juggling between that and performing. it’s gonna be a lot, i know, so before the grind really starts, i wanted to tell you that i love you. like, a lot. more than you can imagine. i fucking hate you for doing this to me, and flat out assuming that i don’t love you,”

“donghyuck,” doyoung sounded breathless, as if someone just punched him in the gut and he was at a loss for, well, everything.

“i’m almost done. i fucking hate that you ended it all over some dumb thought you had in your head. i hate you more for not really hating you at all because in reality, i cry myself to sleep thinking about how i should have shown you more love. i should have treated you better. i loved you with all my heart but i sucked at showing it. so i’m telling you now, i love you. i’m in love with you and i never fell out of it. i know this is a horrible time to tell you this but i have..” donghyuck swallowed harshly, his throat aching from the need to cry. he sniffled, feeling the wetness in his eyes. “i have more studies after this and i won’t be able to function if i don’t tell you the truth. so now you know, ok?”

“god, donghyuck, what the fuck?” doyoung truly felt lightheaded and his chest felt tight from the sudden news. he felt waves of guilt hitting him. 

“later.” suddenly donghyuck was hanging up and moving onto one of his other classes.

-

biochemistry was a bitch, donghyuck’s brain hurt. it might have been the excessive talk about atoms, the debate on climate change or the whole confession from before. possibly all. 

but that didn’t matter. not when donghyuck was tiredly walking out of the doors of the campus main building. he passed a young couple and felt his heart sink deep in his chest. his eyelids grew heavy with exhaustion. they were puffy too, from the crying. 

the walk to his dorm room felt endless. when he finally opened his door, he swore he was hallucinating because on the bed closest to the window sat doyoung. kim doyoung in the flesh. not through the phone. in the flesh. after 4 months of not seeing each other. 

the older look good but donghyuck didn’t expect anything less. he still had soft hair, gathered straight across his forehead in the prettiest way, colored in the most elegant shade of brown. his cheekbones looked more defined but still had their beautiful squishiness to it. donghyuck missed it. he missed holding him and whispering sweet nothings in his ear. he missed fighting over stupid things like cheetos or doritos or wendy’s vs. mcdonalds. he missed kissing doyoung under the stars. he missed getting the common cold, the times where doyoung’s warmth was an instant remedy. he missed his smile. 

“no, no, no, no, no. what are you doing here?” 

and doyoung looked almost offended but he brushed it off because he really had no right to be in there. “i know you might not want to see me but we can’t always have our way, can we?” he stood up from his position on a bed that totally wasn’t donghyuck’s before making his way to the younger. he stood in front of him and stared, bringing the tips of his fingers to donghyuck’s chin.

“doyoung wh-”

“i didn’t get a chance to speak. not before when you ran out on me and not earlier today when you did- whatever that was.” 

“then speak.”

“as if i wasn’t going to.” truth is, doyoung doesn’t really know what to say at this point. only because he feels the same way. “i’m sorry. i’m sorry i assumed things.” and that’s it. that’s literally all he had to say at that moment.

donghyuck hummed. “it’s.. it’s okay. i’m learning to believe that it’ll be okay.”

“but it’s not okay.” doyoung looked frustrated, his eyes scrunching up. “god, donghyuck, i miss you. i miss you so much, the house is so quiet and empty without you. i think to myself everyday if i made a mistake by letting you go and clearly i did. i love you, so, so, so much.”

donghyuck didn’t realize he was crying until he felt the pads of doyoung’s thumbs wiping the droplets away. “i love you too. be mine again?”

“of course.” doyoung smiled softly before leaning in to press his lips onto the smooth skin of donghyuck’s cheeks. “i missed these.” his lips then traveled down to the younger’s neck. “missed this too.” after splaying a few kisses there, his hands found their way to donghyuck’s ass, gently kneading the flesh through his pants. “this too.” donghyuck let out a surprised gasp as he shook his head. 

“but most of all, i missed these.” and with that, the older man brought his lips to donghyuck’s lips, kissing him as if the world was to end tomorrow. it was bruising and desperate, like they were making up for lost time. their mouths slotted together and their tongues danced with one another to a silent melody of chastity and hope. 

you never realize how much you love someone until you don’t have them at all. 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> idk what this is. but the world needs more of this ship. they're too cute i can't.


End file.
